Resistance is NOT Futile; I Will NOT Be Assimilated!
Shudders of horror. Thanksgiving approaches. For those of you who are not American, Thanksgiving is a day in which most Americans travel great distances to see relatives with whom they will argue while eating prodigious amounts of food and watching the Detroit Lions and/or the Dallas Cowboys grunting Neanderthal-like on television. The greatest fear of my life is about to manifest itself. My entire family, the whole fam damily (as one of my relatives likes to say- see? It really is Hell), will be gathered under my mother’s roof.
When I was younger, such gatherings were ugly for me because there were always people asking me about my girlfriend or when I was going to get a girlfriend or why I didn’t have a girldfriend or wouldn’t a girlfriend be more satisfying than a boyfriend. It took several years for those questions to end. Now, it’s just political and religious discussions about how I am going to Hell because I voted for John Kerry and am not a Southern Baptist. Last year, I had to listen to rantings about how Bush had won the greatest mandate to govern in a century, (2%?), how gay marriage would be the downfall of America, and that Condi Rice would be OK as Secretary of State but that America was not ready for a nigger, (their word, NOT mine), in the White House.
In years past, I kept silent or went out to the backyard and smoked a joint. But, in recent years, I have begun to adopt one of the slogans of the old ACT-UP: “Silence is Death.”
I refuse to be silent any longer. I don’t intend to be obnoxious and argumentative this year, but there are three points on which I refuse to remain silent:
1. Bush Lied. Period.
2. There is no God, and if there is, he has a Hell of a lot to answer for!
3. My marrying another guy will NOT destroy the ability of what few heterosexuals there are who still want to get married to do so.
Oh, and by the way, for anyone who doesn’t remember the purpose of Thanksgiving, it’s to remind ourselves of the things for which we should be thankful. And, I couldn’t care less if Dallas wins or not. (Actually, that’s not true. They’re from Texas and any team from Texas MUST lose!)
And, I mean it! Happy Thanksgiving!
